here's an update, brand spankin' new and fresh.
had a date with the boy tonight. still unsure as to what to do.... but it certainly was easy to slip back into old habits. it was a very nice date. we went for a drink, then to a concert i had tickets for through work, then he dropped me off at home. that's all. sweet and innocent. he held my hand at the show, kissed me goodnight, asked to see me again.... and i heard myself saying okay.
so many reasons to walk away! so so many, i won't even start a list. and just one reason to stay. i like him.
i had a date with someone else last week, and it was fine. I mean, we had a pleasant evening, decent banter etc etc. But there was nothing there. No spark, no chemistry. Nothing that stirred any sort of passion or excitement whatsoever within me. so who cares.
so i guess this update isn't really giving any new info. i'm still wavering. i tell myself to forget it all and move on. but i'm not. i'm holding his hand at shows and kissing him goodnight and accepting next dates. but i can't sit on the fence forever. sooner or later i'll topple in some direction.