Thursday, February 23, 2006

Suprised, shocked and speechless

Okay, you know that last part is never true.

So, remember the I suck blog? The one where I blew my interview for the job I was all excited about? And then of course there's my recent foray into dating that ended unfavourably.
Nobody wants me, boohoohoo! Curses on me for being such a failure!

Well, one of my interviewers called and said they wanted to offer me a job. Normally the employees are required to have a car to drive to various homes for tutoring. But, they were "so impressed" by me - that's right, by me! - that they were willing to accomodate me and find locations to suit. Wooha! But alas, I don't really want this job. They want me to commit to a year, it'll be lonely, unsociable work, and there doesn't seem to be the possibility for advancement. So I said I'd think about it.

Then today the unthinkable happened. Heritage Canada called about the multiculturalism internship. The one I really wanted but fucked up. We went through a few things, they wanted me to come down and fill something out etc etc. To get to the short of it, I asked what my chances were because I had this other, less than perfect job offer I had to respond to. "Off the record", she says.... they had chosen me! OHMYGOD! But... but... I totally sucked! Is what I wanted to say, but didn't. Hip hip hurrah!

So the boy doesn't want me. Too bad. The government does! All I need to do is get a security check and I'm in.

I sure hope those stolen babies don't show up on my record...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Damn Russians

Why'd they have to kick our ass? Now I don't care about watching any more hockey.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Population.... ME

You all know how I love traveling and yesterday I won a free trip to a little town that I've visited before: Dumpsville! It's not exactly a tourist hotspot, but it does get its share of visitors. The last time I was here, way back in '01, I stayed a long time. Checked myself in to the Heartbroken Hotel, cried into tear-stained pillows, shuffled forlornly through Pity Park and finally left town hauling out my newly acquired armloads of emotional baggage. This time, it's just a pit stop. In fact, I don't know if I'm technically in Dumpsville. Can you be dumped after less than a month of dating? No matter. There are perks to being here. First of all, it's a great place to pamper and spend money on yourself. Just being here is justification for shopping sprees, excessive drinking and all sorts of selfish acts you feel inclined to indulge in.

I can clearly see
now that it's no surprise he swerved suddenly to the exit ramp. I feel
I pack light these days; all that baggage I left with way back when has
since been compacted into a convenient carry-on size. But he had an
entire U-Haul packed to the hilt! You're never going to get anywhere with that heavy load being dragged behind you. So he has gone off
with his ex-girlfriend to examine that baggage, unpack it, repack it, perhaps reorganize, etc. I'm not a total cynic when it comes to couples getting back together, sometimes it works. But sometimes they just forget or ignore the issues that caused the break up in the first place, then go through the same heartache down the line when those problems inevitably reveal themselves. Oh heck, those two crazy kids just might make it. Or he'll need a bigger van.

Alrighty, this town is a dump, I'm out of here. No strolls down Bitter Boulevard, no lingering on Angry Avenue, and definitely not popping into self-pity city hall. Nope, that's not fun at all. I'm going to head straight out on the Fun Fling Freeway. Anyone care to give me a ride?

Oh, innuendo is so funny. Hee hee.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

nothing interesting

Ho hum, nothing to say. I watched the Canada-Switzerland hockey game this morning. We lost. I don't think I should watch sports, I get too worked up. And this game didn't even matter! I remember watching the US-Canada gold medal game last winter Olympics and I was on the verge of cardiac arrest I was so tense.

I've had a couple of interviews, one went well, the other was so-so. I got a call from the first place and I have to call back about a "possible job offer", whatever that means. Are they just teasing me, getting my hopes up? Then I'll call back and they'll say "Just kidding! It would have been possible... if you weren't so useless. Muahaha" Jerkballs, crushing my spirit like that. Okay, so maybe that's not exactly how it'll go down. Anyhoo, I'm getting used to this never-ending job search. I feel like that's what I do for a living. What do you do? I send out resumes, get interviewed, play an integral role for all the HR people out there. The economy needs me!

I went to see Disney on Ice the other day. Don't give me that look, the tickets were free! It wasn't so bad. No Stars on Ice or anything, but what is? At one point it looked like Baloo (the bear from The Jungle Book) got shot and he was laying on the ice, all dead looking. Some poor little kid behind us was just screaming and bawling "He's dead! Noooo, he's DEAD!" haha. Don't worry, he was just faking. Baloo, not the crying kid.

Anyway, gotta dash. Going to meet with my Dad's girlfriend to talk about - what else? - jobs! She's in HR so maybe she'll be able to give me some pointers. At the very least, I get to go for lunch.

update: No lunch. Just a cup of tea and a plateful of anxiety (with a side of frustration).

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hallmark hooey

Ah, February 14th,
Valentines's Day. The day when the card companies, florists and
chocolate shops all band together, united by the common goal of
guilting people into expressing their affection through gifts, and
putting a monetary value on love. How sweet.

Let's just get one thing straight: I hate this holiday regardless of my
relationship status. When you are a part of a couple, you feel
obligated to buy buy buy, show you care by spending money or doing
something romantic. And if, on this most saccharine, heart filled day,
you fail to purchase the requisite box of chocolates or present your
honey with the cliched long-stem roses or book a table for two at some
candle-lit bistro or in any way fall short of the acceptable amount of
lovey-doviness, then obviously you just don't care enough, you heartless bastard!!!

And of course, for singles it just serves as a reminder that there is
no one being guilted into showing their affection. What a glorious day
for all! I am all for romance and love and all those other warm
fuzzies, but why must we be indoctrinated with all this consumer
bullshit? Let's be spontaneous and genuine and show people we love them
because we want to, not because we feel we have to.

So, this year, like all those before it, I choose to snub my nose at this fabricated love fest. Happy Valentine's day everyone.

Sunday, February 12, 2006



Too much coffee in my body, I am going beserk! Insane, bonkers, hopping mad! I feel I could run on the walls and bounce around the room like a cartoon. It's actually driving me crazy, I think I'm going to explode. What was I thinking? I have enough restlessness and pent up energy in my system as it is without fueling it with caffeine!

Okayokayokay, what can I do to calm down?? Do do, what to do? Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat??

I just got a phone call, so that kept me distracted for a while. I think the effects of my 6 cups of coffee are slowly diminishing. Thank god. Remind me never to do that again. Unless I have a very energetic day planned.

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Time for that drink

As foretold by my extraordinary psychic powers, I totally blew the interview. After careful analysis of my performance, I have narrowed it down to one minor flaw: I suck. I have always been aware of my suckiness, but never have I cursed it so much. Ofttimes I have even laughed it off: haha, silly me, I suck. Like so. But not this time. Now it's more: Damn you sucky Amanda! Grr!!

I don't know why I choked, I guess because I wanted it so much. Even though I'd been thinking about the interview in my head for days, and I had a good selection of material to respond with, when the time came, it all came out awkwardly. Ugh... I don't want to remember it. Then came the written assignment. I was given a folder of info about grants and funding and guidelines etc, then a contract with a group and their proposed project, and the final report they submitted. I then had to write some sort of analysis on the outcome of the project blah blah blah. Never done that. Didn't really know what was expected. Took way too long reading through the piles of info they gave me and then didn't have enough time to properly write the damn thing.


Okay, sucky Amanda is going to go suck back a drink.

8 a.m and I need a drink

Ohgod ohgod ohgod....

I have an interview today for an internship that I really want, working for the multicultural program at Heritage Canada. I am terrified! There's a 3 person panel that will interview me for about 45 minutes, then a one hour written assignment of some sort. ARGH!!! Why can't they just know that I'd be great for the job without all this intimidation? I'm going to crack! I'm miserable when it comes to giving interviews. "why should we hire you for this job?".... "I've been in different cultures. Multiple ones... so I like multi-cultured... stuff. I...I.... please give me the job!!" oh dear oh dear.

Okay, must calm down and move on. So I didn't get the job, something else will come along. Sorry, just figured I'd pre-write my post-interview blog now. Pessimist? Who me?

Friday, February 3, 2006

The Eyeball of Death

The Eyeball of DEATH!!! That's what I played the other day at work. When it came time to play outside, a little boy named Jack asked if I would play with him, and this was the game. Basically it involved running around in the snow, dodging monsters, scrambling under the playstructure (through the dangerous caves) and searching for the elusive eyeball of death. To the untrained adult eye, the eyeball looks like nothing more than a chunk of snowy ice, but luckily Jack could see its true potential. He fixed the eyeball to his sword and was endowed with special powers. Now we could storm the castle!! More running, dodging and scrambling, up mountains and over rivers of lava. I saved a few kids from firey deaths, but then opted to turn to the dark side and claim the castle for myself. Of course I was no match for Jack, his magical sword and his loyal followers. I was eventually defeated and thrown in jail, shackled to the fence til the end of time (end of recess).

Yep, this is my job. How many of you got paid to play the eyeball of death? Muahahaha!!!

I love it.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...