what's happened to me? when did i become so boring? i work my monday to friday, 8-4 job. i come home and tell my boyfriend about my uneventful day. i have dinner with the girls once a month and we talk about work, their babies and other grownup things. i routinely go to pub quiz where we routinely lose. i do crosswords, i watch tv, i indulge in a few beers, i complain that i've put on a few pounds. i grumble about the constantly empty coffee pot in the employee kitchen. i look forward to weekends. i work overtime to rack up additional vacation days. then i check my vacation leave balance, rubbing my hands together greedily at the sight of all my hoarded holidays. they just sit there, accumulating nicely but going nowhere. i like to think of planning a trip, but then it never seems like i have enough time. one week? i can't go anywhere good in just a week. two? three? it's never enough time for my daydreamed travels.
the other day i got a nice new haircut and colour. the greys were gone, my hair shone and bounced with health and youth! i went shopping and bought some new jeans and a gorgeous blue coat that i adore. oh how vibrant and stylish i felt! while getting changed, i stared at myself in the mirror. hips and thighs were no longer held svelte by the form flattering denim; blue sophistication now hung from the coat hook. this body in front of me... it wasn't mine. the inward curve at the waist was less pronounced, the belly not as hard, everything looked a bit softer and squishier than it should be. this was the body of a 30-something, not me.
oh wait. i AM a 30-something. that is indeed my reflection staring out at me with disappointment.
i started writing this several weeks ago. it's just taken me a while to publish it. so i'm 33; it happens. i have a steady job, i live with my boyfriend and i hang out with my friends. that isn't so bad! i've got a week of holidays coming up this summer, and although i'm not going anywhere exotic, i'm very much looking forward to relaxing, camping and just enjoying the time off. in terms of perking up my sad doppelganger in the mirror, i ride my bike and i've rejoined kickboxing to get into better shape. i'm not succumbing to monotony or stagnancy yet!!