Thursday, May 3, 2012

CSI: manders' house

So our house was broken into today. The last cop just left and I'm tired.

I could tell from the street that there'd been a break in. Sixth sense? Keen intuition? Fine attention to detail? Yes, all of those. Oh, and the fact that the storm window had been removed and was now sitting next to a gaping hole in the side of the house, with only a few shards clinging to the pane where a 3' x 5' window once was.

Inside, the living room was strewn with broken glass. Nice day out, I thought, as a pleasant breeze came through the hole in the wall. I looked around and didn't see anything major missing. Our two bikes, just a few feet away, were still there. The xbox, right next to the window, also still in its place. Heavy and awkward old tube tv that no one would or could steal, yup, still there looking heavy and awkward on it's tv stand. I ran upstairs and the computer was still there, along with another heavy/awkward/old tube tv. I guess it was just vandalism. I called the cops and made a report. That was that.

I did some sleuthing about and quickly pieced together the events of the crime. An old broom that was outside was laying on the porch, the handle damaged. A large planter had been moved. I noticed scratches around the butterfly nut thingies that held the storm window. Inside, there was some sand and dirt. Clearly they used the broom handle to bash the nuts into the open position and take off the outer window. They weren't expecting such a thick plate glass on the other side, and had to smash it open with the hefty planter, getting sand inside when it broke through. Then... they must've been scared off or interrupted and ran off without coming in. Case closed!

Until I noticed a green recyclable bag sitting near the front door. Inside i saw a pile of video games, our point and shoot camera and an ipod. Huh. Neither Blair nor I put that bag there... case re-opened!

I looked around again. Going to where the green bag came from, i discovered that a bottle of rum was missing. Upstairs, my old broken Nokia flip phone (don't ask me why i hadn't just tossed it out) was gone from my bedside table. Blair told me my closet had been completely ransacked... but I had to admit that that was just my mess. Strangest of all was in the computer room, where an unknown shoe now sat atop a bookshelf. I called the cops back and they arranged to have someone come.

A very nice constable came out and dusted for fingerprints, getting one good print off of a video game. Blair and I got fingerprinted to, in order to make sure it wasn't ours, how fun!

We're still trying to figure out what all was taken, but it seems like it could have been way worse. Blair had a couple of watches stolen, as a fair chunk of change from his toonie bin. I found my broken useless phone in the bag of loot that our incompetent robber forgot at the front when he exited the back. Also a few cans of beer had been moved to the back porch but also got left behind. I have no idea where the shoe came from or why it was left on the top of our bookshelf. The constable bagged it and took it away (just to throw it out, but i like to imagine it's going to the lab to get analyzed).

We now have a very ghetto plywood window. But I suppose I should look at the bright side. At least it's not January, brrr!

P.S. I threw out our toothbrushes... I know those stories are just urban legends, but you just can't be too careful!
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