Sunday, October 11, 2009

beez in the hood

the wasps... the wasps have taken over the bathroom.


i open the door a crack and cautiously peek in. my heart is pounding as my eyes scan the room, first glance revealing nothing. the window seems clear, and there's nothing crawling on the mirror. slowly i inch closer to the sink and turn my gaze upward to check under the light. the wasps often get up there, but you can't see them unless you get close. clear; no wasps. but the window... the venetian blinds cover the upper half, i don't know if anything is behind them or not. i look up to the ceiling fan: their point of entry. no movement. i edge imperceptibly towards the window, silent, breath held, heart pounding. i'm one step into the bathroom, which is one step too far away from the safety of the door. closer... eyes darting back to the ceiling fan, remembering the terror of the other night when i witnessed two wasps drop from it into the room. slowly, i begin to crouch down in order to peer behind the blinds. please... please let it be clear. oh god, there's two of them, dopily crawling around near the top of the window. i back out of the washroom, shutting the door behind me.


ok, not too bad. they were looking pretty docile, probably almost dead anyway. how to finish them off so i can use the bathroom without fear? we don't have any wasp spray or bug killer of any kind in the house, and i'm not brave enough to try and smoosh them with a paper towel. that crunch... BLECK! so once more into battle, armed with a bottle of windex and a boxed up photo album for squishing. again, i slowly open the door and check around to ascertain the enemy's location. one of them is too high on the window, but the other one is within spraying distance. so i quietly raise my weapon, aim, and blast it with windex. it wriggles and struggles and falls to the sill. windex windex windex! suddenly, BZZZZ!!! a huge wasp drops down from the fan, flies past me and starts bumping against the mirror.


of course i screamed and ran out, slamming the door behind me. the bathroom is under seige. i'm paranoid now too. i keep seeing things fly by out of the corner of my eye. or feel something crawling on me. or shh - did you hear that buzzing?? i sit here at the computer, windex bottle at my side, box abandonned on the other side of the door, heart still racing.


and i really need to use the bathroom!
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