Thursday, June 6, 2013

Oh goodie, another phobia

maybe phobia isn't quite the right word. i mean, i'm not afraid of them, like i am of moths. but i think that's only because these are stationary. i definitely have an irrational and hyperbolic disgust of them, which leads to extremely ludicrous overreactions.

I've discovered that i am revolted by toadstools.

seriously, i don't know how i'm going to get through this blog, because just the thought of them - the mere writing of the word - sends shudders down my spine. we have some growing around a tree on the boulevard (oh god oh god, they're so gross), and now they've even spread so that a few are in our yard (barf barf barf). the clumps around the base of the tree are really big, like the size of cats and loaves of bread (blech, gag), then about half a dozen smaller clusters have popped up along the boulevard and a blob or two on our lawn (i have to stop, i'm going to be sick).

i'm back. feeling queasy, but i shall persevere.

i can't think of anything more nauseating than those mushrooms. repulsive fungal growths infesting our grass. they make my skin crawl. i almost couldn't walk up my front sidewalk because they were only a few feet away. oh so gross so gross so gross! squishy, lumpy, dense, moist, pop-up-overnight, cankerous blight infecting my lawn!!

blair digging out the vile toadstools. I took a photo of him
 while peeking through the blinds in the upstairs window.
this is as close as i could get, and even then i was trembling

ok, i must stop. retching and having mini-convulsions at the thought of them. i made blair go outside and dig them all up to get rid of them. but he's not allowed to talk about it because i start freaking out when they are mentioned and may break into tears. now i must go have a hot shower and scrub the thoughts of them away.

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