today i feel down. it's annoying me because i have no reason to mope. it's friday. i just got my hair done and i love it. i'm about to head off on an amazing holiday. why the hell am i grumbling and sulking?? mood swing manders, that's me. goddamn, this vacation can't come soon enough. last night i already started being pessimistic and stupid. i realized how soon i leave. and that made me realize how soon it will all be over and i'll be back with absolutely nothing to look forward to! before i know it i'll be on the plane, and before i know it it'll be the wedding, and before i know it i'll be laying on a beach, and before i know it i'll be on a plane, and before i know it i'll be back at this stupid desk listening to the stupid boop boop boop of calls coming into my headset. BAH! talk about lame and pointless thoughts.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
This one's for my aunt, who always asks why i don't write on here more.
lately, it's just because i've been so busy getting ready for the big trip. i am getting so excited! my heart is racing, my blood rushing, i am filled with such energy it's all i can do not to jump around whooping and hollering! today we dropped my sister off at the airport. her fiance left last week, now she's gone. that's two down. slowly, one by one, we are all departing; making our way to israel. and with each person that goes, it is closer to my turn. it reminds me of that song with the bears in the bed. "there were 10 in the bed and the little one said, Roll over! Roll over! so they all rolled over and one fell out, there were 9 in the bed and the little one said..." etc etc.
at the airport, we followed our family's usual traditions. first we grabbed some Tim Horton's coffees and sat down to chat and laugh. then we all huddled outside the departure area in a group hug, followed by individual hugs. but that's not the end of the goodbyes. we stand on our side of the rope and watch as jennie goes through security, waving every time she looks back. she clears security, waves to us again, and heads toward the gate. still, we are not finished. at the other end of the terminal, we stand at the top of the staircase and watch across the baggage area, through the glass windows to the gate area. jennie appears and we all wave to each other. we carry on like this for about 10 minutes, waving, doing little dances, and miming out stupid things like paddling a canoe, going down an elevator etc. it's all so ridiculous and drawn out. we laugh till our faces hurt, and then, finally, we turn and head out.
it's silly and cheesy and dorky. and i love it.
Friday, May 16, 2008
so yesterday was cool, i had a couple of the new recruits shadowing me! i was surprised that they asked me to do it, because i still feel like i'm so new here, but apparently i know what i'm doing enough to have someone learn from me. NEAT! yay me, lalalalala.
i just sat outside for lunch, eating a smokie. i was all excited, thinking it was going to be oh so tasty. but it was sort of gross. now i feel a bit sick. but at least it was sunny.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
the attraction. the excitement. the longing. the denial. the
forgetting. the reconnection. the rush of desire. the flirtation. the
build up. the anticipation...
just like most people, i've had my share of crushes. from my first
crush in grade one to the present day. they usually go unrequited, as i
pine from afar. but on a few occasions, i've been surprised by a long
delayed materialization of these passions. and while the first thought
that runs through my head is "oh my god, i'm kissing so-and-so", the
end result is usually a let down. that's it? all that yearning for
that? i guess it's inevitable when you have someone on a pedestal
simply by reasons of aesthetics and superficial charm.
i suppose it's still gratifying in a way. and it puts it all in perspective.
but i know the good kisses. there's still the anticipation and the
tension. but it's driven by more than just lust. there's another
connection. and it's not something i can put my finger on. but those
kisses... wow... those are the ones that make your heart pound.