Monday, July 30, 2007

The drunken rant


Yeah, it's Monday night and I'm a bit drunk - what're you gonna do about it?? 

I've had it! This is the last fucking time you will let me down. I was a better friend than you ever deserved and all you did was prove me a fool for always giving you second chances. Well fuck you! For ten goddamn years I gave you the benefit of the doubt; forgave your hurtfulness; thought the best of you. And for brief moments I felt justified.  You made a good show of coming off like a decent human being. But you aren't. You are an
insensitive, hypocritical, selfish asshole.

I used to want the best for you; I really hoped you were happy. I was there for you because I cared and I respected you. I think you can tell that I've lost all respect and don't give a shit what happens to you anymore.

I've deleted sentence after sentence of cruel yet truthful remarks. I want to be mean, hit you where it hurts because we both know I could. But I guess the wine is wearing off. And you're just not worth it.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Bored

 

Dear god I'm stircrazy! The day needs to end at 5 for pete's sake. No, to hell with Pete. For my sake!

 

Ooh, it's pouring out! Like a monsoon. Rain whipping by at a 45 degree angle, lightning flashing across the sky and thunder booming. I love this weather. Whenever there's a real downpour like this, I think back about 10 years and remember dancing about in the rain with my brother and sister, getting absolutely soaked to the bone, then jumping into the pool fully clothed. What fun!

 

I wonder if to people walking by, my blog looks like work. Perhaps if I add some point form, it will increase its plausibility:

 



    • Is this better?
    • Maybe some key words too...
    • Please fax contract deposit rider asap. Artist avails spreadsheet confirmed
    • It doesn't need to make sense; now let's add numbers!
    • $53,990 is a nice sum. Wish I had it.
    • 240 is the number of regular dots on a Pac-Man board
    • I think that'll do.

Okay, time to start shutting down. Thank you blog, for keeping me sane.

Friday, July 20, 2007

hot hot hot!


It is so frickin' hot in Winnipeg these days! All weekend and next week it's supposed to hit 30 degrees or higher. Sunday the high is 37!!! Oh dear god that's hot! And I will be outside all day working at the Friendship Festival. I predict delirium will set in after a couple of hours and full on heat-induced madness will rob me of all reason. I'll be asked to leave after frolicking naked through the sprinklers.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Overkill


I am re-evaluating my whole "dating will be fun" notion. The novelty is wearing off already. Maybe it was just a bit too much all at once. I was all excited to meet different people, be open-minded and all that. So when asked out by people that seemed nice, I decided what the hell, sure! So this week I went on three dates. I think in the past 10 years I've probably only gone on three dates! The first, well I already wrote about that glorious success story. The second isn't story-worthy as the guy was perfectly nice, normal and funny, but I wasn't attracted to him. And the third was really fun, I had a great time, but I think it's more of a friend vibe I feel. Oh, and I met someone else the other night and said they could call me. This is all fantastic for my ego and everything, but it's not giving me the giddy butterflies I thought it would.

My friend and I said it was like being on a raft, drifting at sea, and you think how great it would be to get to dry land with all the possibilities that it holds. But then you get there, and it's not so great. And I kind of miss being on my raft, with nothing to worry about, it's calm and easy and I'm used to it. Why did I want to leave the raft anyway? I like the raft!

Anyway, I'm not sure how to abort this experiment. I wasn't able to vocalize my indifference properly, so when they said they had a good time, could we do it again... all I could say was "sure". But I don't wanna, I want back on my raft!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Fountain of youth


I was ID'd today!!! 30 years old and I was asked for ID at the liquor store, oh glorious day! I haven't been asked in god knows how long, I thought I was done.  Lalalala, I wanted to skip home! I don't think I look thirty, but I doubt I'd get mistaken for a 17 year old. But still, she probably thought I was in my early 20s or something.

Of course it could just be that I was buying a 2 litre cooler.... the drink of the under-aged girl.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Going fishing


So I've decided to brave the dating world. I've never really "dated" much. Here's a breakdown of my relationship history:

Single single single....
Suddenly I have a serious boyfriend for 3 years.
Break up, single single single....
What's this? Another serious boyfriend, another 3 years.
Single
"seeing someone" for about a month - as close I've really come to dating
Single single single.... ad nauseum

With a handful of what will have to be labeled "flings" strewn about.

Not that I mind being single at all. I'm quite happy without a boyfriend and have yet to feel any sense of loneliness. But I decided, what the hell, let's get out there and check out the options!

I went out with a very nice boy. Not my type at all. I'm afraid that "nice" isn't my type! What a drag!! I'm not saying I like the bad boys, but for some reason when someone is all sickeningly sweet and good and proper... I just want to break a chair over their head. He said "heck" and I wanted to explode in a profanity-riddled rant. I took a swig of my beer
as I watched him sip his diet pepsi, and wanted to throw it in his face and jab the straw in his eyes.  DIET pepsi even, come on! Don't get me wrong, I still had an enjoyable evening. He's nice. But he's a pushover, and unfortunately, I've realized that pushovers just make me want to push them over.

Also, he used the word borrow instead of lend - one of my top pet peeves. "She asked me to borrow her $5" ARGH, my ears are bleeding!!!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

All sunned out


What a great weekend! I went back up to the Folk Fest on Saturday and spent the whole afternoon lounging in the sun, listening to music, enjoying a few drinks, and even made a quick trip to the beach. My friends invited me to spend the night in their luxury RV (air conditioning and shower!!) so how could I refuse. Went back to the park this morning and caught some more shows and more sunshine. I feel so refreshed, like I had a week off!!

Of course now I'm feeling all tired and drained from all that time in the sun. So a nice early night for me. Hurrah for summertime!!!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Sunshine!


It's beeeeeeautiful out! Went up to like 30 degrees today, yahoo!! Last night I went to the Folk Festival, which was nice. Especially with my all-access pass that let me in backstage and to the VIP beer tent. I sure like walking around feeling important, haha!

Anyway, it should be another gorgeous day tomorrow, so I'm going out again. Going to spend my day lazing in the sun, listening to music, and chilling in the beer tent. My mission is to tone done this glaring white assault on unprotected eyes that is my skin!
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