back from la-la land

my mind is now clear enough to write about my little ordeal the other day. thursday started off as any other day. i went to work, had a couple of cups of coffee, and aside from feeling quite tired, there was nothing to set this day apart from any other. went to the blood donor clinic in the morning. they asked all the usual questions; no i haven't used intravenous drugs, had sex for money, or handled any monkeys. they pricked my finger, iron levels good, it's a go.

"nice juicy vein" i'm told by one of the staff, as my blood fills the bag. i stare at the white board working on the anagrams they put up to keep us entertained. beep! the machine lets them know they've got their pint. wow, 7 minutes on the button, that's got to be my record. i head over to get my juice and doughnut, and the lady asks how i'm feeling. fine, just fine. then i casually mention that i got a little head rush - just like when you stand up too fast - but no big deal. at least so i thought. she rushes out from behind the counter, tells me to sit down, put my head on the table. i'm saying no no, i'm fine, really, but she's shouting out for ice and before i know it two nurses have wheeled a gurney over and are insisting i lay down as they place cold clothes on my neck and forehead. of course everyone in the clinic is watching as the nurses wheel me into the corner and feed me my juicebox. so embarrassing.

back at work, i notice i'm feeling not quite with it. it seems hard to focus my thoughts, i feel somewhat distant, and when i type an email it is riddled with typos (pretty much every word gives me trouble). i tell myself that if i don't feel any better by lunchtime, i'll head home. but i have my lunch and feel fine. about 2 hours later, i suddenly feel dizzy again. and then a bit queasy. and then instantly nauseous. i run to the bathroom and throw up. the rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur. i remember sitting in my supervisor's office as people brought me water and called the health line. it was like i was watching it all from afar. i could hear myself talking but wasn't quite in control. "i feel like i'm drunk.... only without the fun" i hear myself say. everything is somewhat dreamlike. i wouldn't have been surprised to see psychedelic colours spiralling about or cartoon birdies singing to me. i throw up a bunch more. a friend drives me home and i spend most of the night laying vapidly on the couch.

the next morning, after a long night's sleep, i feel ok and go to work. but after lunch, that same dopiness has taken hold and i can't concentrate. it's a freaky feeling, this disconnected, trippy, waking dream state i'm in. i feel i only have a tenuous hold on reality, i am more asleep than awake, and i am quickly slipping further away. i go home, crawl into bed, and fall into a deep, deep sleep. four hours go by and i'm only awoken by the phone ringing. with difficulty i pull myself into consciousness and force myself out of bed.

i had another early night and now i am feeling myself again. i don't think the blood giving was the cause though, it was probably just a bad combination of several factors. clearly exhaustion being one of them. thinking back to the events of those two days, it seems surreal. who needs drugs? just lose a bit of sleep and a bit of blood and off you go to la-la land. side effects may include disorientation, talking nonsense, and vomiting.

 it really wasn't fun, despite what my dorky photo implies, and i don't recommend it