last it is then

some people just don't care. the world is all about them and they will do whatever it takes to improve their lot, regardless of who is hurt along the way. there have been several incidents in the past week that have upset me, i will just mention the last. today i tried to appeal to a person's sense of humanity, asked them to have compassion, find it in their heart to do the right thing. but they remained unmoved. tears meant nothing, heartache and grief "not their problem". i don't remember the last time i've felt such coldness. usually i have a fairly positive outlook and i believe that people are inherently good. but suddenly, all i could see was a world rampant with greed and selfishness.

we did not leave the situation completely defeated, but his eventual concession was not a victory. he just got fed up and provided enough to get rid of us. is that the majority of the world? are people just callous and indifferent to one another? are respect and empathy for your fellow man only weaknesses? nice guys finish last, they say! at times i just want to say fine, fuck you all, i can be just as hard and self-serving!

...i feel somewhat better now. i had my favourite ice cream with my sister, talked to a few people back home, and thought about my wonderful family and friends. i am lucky to have people i can count on, people with good hearts, people that care. and occasionally i'll even meet a kind stranger that reaffirms my faith in humankind.

i will encounter plenty of assholes in this world, but i will not let them set the moral standard. maybe nice guys finish last, but i for one, am not willing to win at any cost.