first dates

 

bah! i hate them.

 

i agreed to go on a date with someone the other night, and almost immediately i regretted it. i'm just not in the mood for first dates! they can be very exciting, but only if you really want them. i felt indifferent. it seemed like a chore. it was a perfectly nice date, he was nice, we got along, had fun etc etc. but i just don't care! he asked if we could go out again and i said sure. bah!!! i hate dating!!! i'm sure i would be more than happy to accept second dates with certain people, but i just don't want to put the effort into someone new.

 

it's annoying because we got on really well, he seems like the type of person that i should like. but oh no, those are never the kind of people i get excited for. i don't know if i have a "type" or not, although my friends have joked that my type is older, divorced single dads with teenage kids. ha! i certainly don't go looking for that type, but yes, the last two men i have been interested in have fit that description. it's all about spark! i want to feel giddy when i look at them. i want to daydream about them. i don't want to dread the end of a perfectly enjoyable evening because of the is-there-a-kiss-or-isn't-there moment. bah!!!! although i had a fun time last night, i found myself comparing it to the first dates with my darling divorcees. now there was spark! no dreading a kiss moment, only the eagerness to grab it mid-date. sigh...

 

i hate dating.