Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The end, part I

Little by little I'm getting pieces of the story. Not a story I like,
but I suppose better than just a blank final chapter. He hasn't
definitively spelled it out yet, but basically all the letters are on
the page, I just have to push them together. Like the two-headed
spelling monster on Sesame Street.


*lightbulb flash of realization*

"Ex!" And the two-headed monster bops around cheerfully in self-congratulations, repeating its discovery.
Only less cheerful bopping on my end.

We're supposed to get together tomorrow to talk, so I guess I'll get
the details of the story then. I don't even know what the point is
anymore. I thought I wanted to see him again, get the dignity of an
explanation in person, as opposed to being dumped via a Facebook email.
But thinking about it now, it doesn't seem that comforting. Kinda just
seems like being dumped twice.

So, I guess I'll just see what he has to say for himself tomorrow,
although I know it's about a past relationship coming back into the
picture. "An open door from the past that I haven't closed yet" is
hardly unbreakable code.

Ugh. Not looking forward to this conversation. I know I will just feel
shitty and sad. But I guess I have to get it over and done with. Get my
lousy answer that I see coming, don't want to hear, and still won't
understand or want to believe. Then hopefully the denial won't linger
too long after that.

Stay tuned for the next installment of this abject tale of woe - coming soon!


Laoch said...

I think you shouldn\'t go to such a meeting. The kind of answers or explanations you get at such times are never satisfying and seldom true. The reality is that once he declared he did not want to be with you anymore he became unredeemable. You want your love interests and life partners to be passionate about you. They should want to spend as much time with as you as possible and care more about your feelings than their own. If this is not the case it is much better to close the door and look for someone who will feel that way. Your time is valuable. Why spend it with someone who cares about someone else more than you?

Jade said...

I\'m sorry girl... (hugs you),  would you like to go out for a drink with me?I\'m a bummed girl these days too...

Unknown said...

Boys are stupid.

Jade said...

in referance to your question-- did you ever hear of the movie "broke back mountain"--well,I was a brokeback mountain girlfriend.

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