40 mins to go

 

Oh, I can't concentrate anymore! This last hour from 5 - 6 is just not productive. I'm spent! No more work potential in me.

 

This weekend should be fun, because it's a long weekend. It should be fun, but it won't be for me. All day Saturday I'm busy with an event at the Forks because I'm the volunteer coordinator. And all day Sunday I'll be working at Assiniboine Park for Canada Day entertainment. I don't even know what exactly I'm supposed to do... make sure the performers are happy and on time, I guess. I just hope the weather is nice, because I'll be outside all day. It's definitely not the worst work, but it's still not my own time.

 

I got a free pass to the Folk Festival next weekend too, which is awesome. I can even go backstage and stuff, although I don't know if I'll really use that part seeing as my friends won't be allowed. Oh well. Once again, just hoping for sunshine!

 

Okay, only 30 mins to go now... almost there.

Done.

Done with things being complicated. They're only as complicated as I let them be, right? So enough. Let's go back to basics, remove the elements that complicate.

It's the right decision, I know. Should have done it a while back, but couldn't find the will power. Now.... I just have to put it all behind me and move on.

I'm outta here!

 

I'm leaving work 20 mins early. WOOOOHOOOO!!! Weekend, here I come!

How not to get a date with Amanda

*Ring ring... ring ring*

Groggily, after fumbling in the dark to find my phone "hello?"

"AMANDA! What's up?!"

I look at the clock, which reads 2:56am. My mind tries to focus. "Who is this?"

"It's whats-his-face!"* My confused silence prompts him to shout it again, with more enthusiasm. Slowly it registers. Oh right, that guy. A guy who at one point had wanted to ask me out, but I ran off before I had to commit to anything.

"Hi," I'm still swirling with sleep, and words seem to be coming out without much help from my brain, "why are you calling? It's 3 in the morning"

"We're just at so-and-so's, having drinks, partying. We'd love your company!" he says as if this is the most reasonable request and the most logical time to be calling.

I muttered some drowsy gibberish, then managed to say it was 3am; I was sleeping. He sounded genuinely shocked at this, stating that at the last party, I stayed til 6. This is true. I often stay up very late. I love staying up late for fun parties etc. But this night I was sleeping. Or trying to. He ended the conversation with an energetic "KEEP IN TOUCH!"

Smooth.

And stay out!

Big news, I am now the proud owner of my very own bedroom door! You may all gasp in shock at the revelation that for the last 18 months, I have in fact been doorless. Although it definitely wasn't an ideal set-up, it wasn't as bad as it may sound. My bedroom is actually two rooms, one with a couch and tv, the other with my bed. We all use the tv room part as a communal area, and my bedroom part is around the corner, so you can't actually see it from the hall. In any case, a door has been purchased, and just needs to be installed. Of course it isn't simple, the door frame was an odd size and nothing fit properly, so we have to insert a strip of wood to make it an inch smaller. It's also actually a two-fold closet door because the awkward location meant a one-piece door wouldn't open fully. But who cares, this is so exciting!!!

Mood improving

Things are looking up since Monday, thank god. Tuesday was slightly less agonizing, mostly since it was followed my an evening with the girls. My friend is in town from NY and I never get to see her, so that lifted my spirits automatically. Today work was fairly uneventful, and I was surprised my a last minute call from a friend to go for an after work beer. And now I'm comfy at home, nachos in the oven, and only 4 minutes until So You Think You Can Dance comes on. Yippee!

Mondays will be my undoing

To say I hate Mondays is a gross understatement. Detest, loathe, abhor.... still doesn't quite capture it. Mondays make me want to gouge my own eyes out. Mondays make me want to tear through the office on a rampage of destruction. Mondays make me want to scream until blood fills my throat.

Mondays make me hate my life.

It's hard to believe that just one day - just one task actually - can be responsible for such misery. Mondays I have an overwhelmingly boring, tedious, mind-numbing job that takes a few hours to complete. Just a few hours you say, that's not so bad! But it is. Those few hours drag on for an eternity, crushing my spirit, and leaving me drained and defeated. By the end of the week the horror of Monday has faded in my memory somewhat, and I feel fine. But every Monday I go through it again. It really takes all my will power not to hand in my resignation on the spot. I just tell myself, you won't feel so hopeless tomorrow. But man, it's so intense, I'm not sure it all balances out.

For now, as the drudgery is several hours in the past, I'm starting to lift out of the mire. But I know that a week from now will bring the same frustration, dissatisfaction and consuming melancholy. Which, even for a day, is unbearable.