I blame the sour puss

I may still be drunk.

It started off with a few quiet beers. The case came with a deck of cards and some poker chips. I've realised that I'm a terrible poker player because I never want to bet anything and I can't bluff to save my life. Even with pretend money, I'm cheap and cowardly! Bet a chip worth 50 make-believe dollars? ARE YOU MAD??? Not the most exciting game.

So all was fine, just sitting around chatting etc. Then came a few shots of sour puss. Mmm.... tasty. Then we went to the bar.

Things I remember on my own from this point on:

1. Eating the celery from my caesar.
2. Panicking over my missing mittens.
3. Starting to walk home, which was very far, perhaps looking for the mittens. No, this doesn't make sense.
4. Talking all the way home (my friends tossed me in their truck) about my missing mittens.
5. Calling their cell phones several times to inquire about my missing mittens.

Things I remembered once reminded:

1. Dancing
2. Not recognizing my own neighborhood and telling my friend she was going the wrong way.

Things I don't remember at all:

1. Doing three more shooters.
2. Leaving a message on my friend's machine after I was dropped off, saying I still wanted to go do something.
3. Anything I said that didn't have to do with my mittens.

So, there you have it.

I have confirmed that my mittens are safe and sound at my friend's place. Phew!

mittenmittenmittenmitten.... it gets funnier the more i say it. mitten.              mitten.

read me read me!

This is very exciting, I thought my blog wasn't faring so well these days, but I'm actually nearing 100,000 hits! I'm a mere 99 and eighty thouasand away! Woowee!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I suck.

Boo

Damnit, I knew I shouldn't have gotten all hyped up and excited for my class. It was so disappointing! Too easy and boring. Normally I'd love to say that I'm just too advanced for something (I don't get that opportunity very often) but I really really wanted this to be good for me.

But more than it being a bit too simple, it was just way too dull. The instructor did the typical Chinese method of teaching, which is basically just "repeat after me". For THREE HOURS!! It didn't require any thinking of our own or anything useful. Just read from the textbook. There were parts written in English, and instead of having us try to translate them - which would have made sense seeing as it was the vocabulary we just learned - she just told us the answers. BAH! So pointless!

I was talking to another guy in the class about how my lessons were in China, and he totally thought that would be better. It was more interactive and we played little games and did short activities that made us think and use what we were learning in new ways. Not just bland, monotonous repetition. We tried to make suggestions to the teacher, but she didn't seem to bite. I spoke to her after class to see if in the future we'd get more of a chance to practice, work in pairs, make our own dialogues etc. But she has no intention of changing her ways, and now she hates me for trying to improve her class. Snooty know-it-all thinks she can teach my class juts because she spent a year in China... yep, I'm sure that's what she was thinking. It could just be so much better!

So, it looks like my time as a student is ending after a single lesson. So disappointing, but there's no point in staying in that tedious, brain-dead class. Boo.

I'm a student again!

Tonight I have my first Mandarin lesson at the University of Winnipeg. Yay, how exciting! I'm in level two so I hope I can keep up. I'm so giddy about it, I can't wait!!

Amanda to the rescue!

Had my first day of my CPR/First Aid course today. We got to practice resuscitating plastic silver babies and heads on blue torsos. Whee! look at the plastic bag inflate, I'm saving the torso! I don't know if the instructor appreciated my shouts of "Stay with me! Breathe damnit, breathe!!" Unfortunately, I lost a few. And accidentally bit a babies nose. But these things happen! Right?

Can't wait to see how it goes tomorrow when we deal with things poked in eyeballs!

misguided spacewalking

My brain powered off temporarily this afternoon, and I typed in my spaces address incorrectly. I accidentally put the msn before the spaces and an "adult content" warning came up. I thought perhaps it was because I was using a computer at my parents' office. So I continued on to what was definitely not my site. At least I don't remember putting up any naked ass pictures. Turns out that our beloved spaces.msn.com has a sleazy cousin: msn.spaces.com. For all your anal needs. "Not every ass has long ears" is their clever tagline. Groan. So, if you tire of me bemoaning my lack of a job, or want some pictures slightly more risque than me bundled in a down coat (although I don't know why you would, down coats are hot - haha, funny pun) then you know where to go!

On a side note, I noticed I have blogshares (I found out while searching for my own site after the porn debacle). I don't recall signing up for them. Maybe I did. I don't know. Anyway, I have no idea how they work, but I did notice that my stock seems to have plummeted lately! Why? What's wrong with my blog? Besides the fact that I have nothing to say and it's heinously boring. What else is wrong with it?? So, here are these shares that I don't know what they are and just found out I had, and now I'll be obsessed with making them go up. Given my vast ignorance of everything to do with blogshares, this may prove difficult.

fun with photo booth

So I'm a dork, as you all know. And I obviously have way too much free time on my hands.

 
big round muppet head                 me the ugly troll


 
me the grumpy ogre                     me the freaky house elf
                                                   (don't I look like Dobby?)


 
whoa, what a shnoz!                  yes, I have an orange for a
                                               head      


me with wonky mom and wonky brother. I'm a tad of wonk myself.

Yep, this is how I amuse myself in my carefree days as an unemployed bum. I'm teetering on the brink of insanity... or perhaps I've already fallen in!

Backyard bakery

We have two dogs, one is big and lovely and oh so good. The other is an overgrown rat that never stops barking and chews everything in sight. It's all snowy in our backyard with different sized plops of poo everywhere. My mom says it looks like a big chocolate chip cookie. Eww.....

our new channukah carol

Last night was the last night of Channukah and given the good weather, we went to my dad's for a winter bbq. My two year old niece is absolutely adorable and loves both Christmas and Channukah, sort of intertwining them into one mush of a holiday. Her little voice gave us a lovely rendition of "We wish you a merry Channukah and a happy new year" as if those had always been the words.  The poster child for "Chrismukka"!

Get outta my head!!

Have you seen that very annoying Capital One bank commercial? People are playing tennis and dancing, etc etc, while a guy in a suit is behind them with his hand in their back pocket. The little jingle keeps singing "hand in my pocket hand in my pocket hand in my pocket!" over and over and over again. I've had it running through my head for days now and it won't go away. It's driving me up the wall! I'll start humming it or mumbling it without even realizing it. Also, yesterday I was reading through old papers and I did a whole bunch of Sudokus. This morning I woke up with images of rows and column of numbers that I was trying to figure out. Obviously I have an excess of space in my head that is desperate to be filled.