Sunday, June 12, 2011

the last of the grandparents

As of Saturday, June 4th, I have no more grandparents. At the age of 94, my grandmother - Bobbi, as us grandkids called her - passed away. A nice, long life. A life I didn't really know much about, until after her death. She lived in Montreal, so we were never as close to that side of the family. Family trips grew less frequent as we got older, and several years went by with just a few phone calls on birthdays and holidays.

I flew out to Montreal on Sunday to be with my dad and to attend the funeral. So much was as I remembered it. Same dated furniture that had been around since i was a kid. Same crystal bowls and glasses within the locked cabinet. Same old photographs of long dead relatives on the walls. Same grandparenty feel.

I sat with my dad and his childhood friend as they talked, and his friend took notes for the eulogy. In that hour, listening to them reminisce, i learned a whole new side to my grandmother. She wrote to soldiers during the war. She graduated with a degree from McGill in 1939 - not common for a woman back then. She worked as an X-ray technician and didn't marry until she was almost 30 - also not that common. I looked through her albums. That was her, the little girl with a giant bow in her hair, standing amongst chickens. That was her, the young woman in the bathing suit, smiling with her friends. That was her, the lovestruck bride, gazing at her handsome new husband. That was her, the poised mother with her two young children at her side. And of course, that was her, proud grandma holding her first grandchild's hand (me!) and beaming at the camera. Yes, that was the bobbi i knew. All those pre-bobbi photos... that was a person I was just now glimpsing. Flipping through albums... watching her grow old.

Going through some things, i came across some cards and letters. A whole stack of valentine's day cards from my zaida (grandpa) to her, all with hand written love poems in them. My grandfather has been dead for almost 20 years. I found a few letters i had written her, also over two decades old. that made me smile. I'm glad she kept things like that. I do too.

Anyway, i'm not being very eloquent, i realize. Death doesn't bring out the best writer in me. All my thoughts swirl around, fragemented, and i find it difficult to pull together sentences to do them justice.

I'll just end this here.


Laoch of Chicago said...

No one is truly gone who is still remembered by the ones who loved them. Good wishes to your Dad.

Average Girl aka Tracy said...

I am so sorry about your Grandmother. I have one left and she is 96. But today, my better half lost his last grandparent, his grandmother and it has been so sad to watch my mother in law in her sorrow because no matter how old you are or how old your parent is, they are always your parent.

Hugs to you!


Anonymous said...

My deepest condolences. She sounds like an amazing person.


Deborah said...

Wonderfully written, and extremely eloquent. Simply and honestly told, I felt I was there. I'm sure she'll be greatly missed x

Al Penwasser said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. But, it sounds like your grandmother lived a life worth living. And that is the mark of a successful transition to the next chapter.

Logical Libby said...

I remember the first time I saw a picture of my grandmother as a young woman. It totally blew my five year old mine.

Sounds like she was a neat lady. Glad she was in your life.

Antares Cryptos said...

Manders, so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a remarkable woman.


Sandra said...

So sorry for your loss.
However, I think you were eloquent just fine! So have you kept the letters you found?

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