Wednesday, April 20, 2011

the dark ages

here's a joke for you, i made it up myself:
Q: how long does it take amanda and blair to change a lightbulb?
A: i don't know, but it's been 3 weeks and counting!

tsk tsk! i wag my finger at you!

ok, so it's not so much a joke as it is more a shameful factoid. but in our defense, it is a fancy lighbulb. it's in a floor lamp in our kitchen, and it's a weird shape that i've never seen before. quite honestly, i haven't even figured out how to get the dead bulb out yet, as it seems to be very awkward to get at. must be some special bulb created by the lamp-maker and they don't sell bulbs separately. we'll just have to buy a new lamp.

ok, to be really 100% honest, it's been a tad more than 3 weeks since we needed to replace the light. it's been a couple of years. once upon a time our kitchen had a ceiling light, like all other kitchens. there was a lovely fixture with a strip of halogen bulbs. very sleek. but the lights kept burning out really quickly and it seemed there must be some deeper problem with wiring or the like. i don't really know the story, it was a few years back. but for a long time we had a ceiling light that didn't ever work. and then a pipe broke on the 2nd floor, leaked through the kitchen and the light fixture (along with some cupboards) came down to get at the issue. that was some time in 2009. instead of the big job of repairing the ceiling, cupboards and light, i just stuck an old floor lamp in instead. let there be light! that lamp, given that it was 91874619 years old, eventually broke, and we replaced it with a better lamp. and all was well again (minus hole in the ceiling and missing cupboards).

then the damn bulb burnt out and now we ( = blair) race to get dinner ready while there is still daylight. but some days we just don't make it, and we maneuver around the kitchen with a flashlight. it's really terrible. "is the chicken done?" "can't tell.... shine the light over here".

we keep saying we'll get another bulb, but we only ever think of it at inconvenient times. like when we end up cooking in the dark.

what we really need are night-vision goggles!


Laoch of Chicago said...

You need minions.

Chelle said...

I think that's Laoch's way of say that he wants to have your babies.

Chelle said...


Peaceful said...

LOL! that's better than anything i could have written :P

Al Penwasser said...

Problem: Inability to replace light bulb in floor lamp.
Procedure: Consult owner's manual, the internet, entrails of an owl in an effort to figure out how to replace light bulb.
Problem: Continued inability to replace light bulb in floor lamp.
Solution: Buy new floor lamp, sell old floor lamp in garage sale as an "antique," do what Chelle says.

Deborah said...

LOL ... oh you are funny, I loved this! :o)

Sandra said...

One visit from my husband and that bulb would be changed. He's a tad OCD, but after 10 years of this behaviour, we refer to it as "endearing".

Caleb said...

It's that kind of lazy procrastination that makes me proud...

Ironically, I know *exactly* the bulb you're talking about. Trust me- don't do any research or get help. Just buy a different lamp.

Worked for me.

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