i should've been a blond

no offense to any of my many blond friends out there, of course.

last night i had what people sometimes refer to as a "blond" moment. i was getting ready for a shower and i grabbed a new bottle of body wash. it was given to me as a gift, a part of a 3 bottle set of fancy shower/bath stuff. i opened it up and smelled its vanilla-y goodness. mmm, delicious, almost good enough to eat..... no, don't worry, i'm not totally stupid.

so i'm in the shower and i squeeze a big blob of creamy soap onto my poof (oh dear, this is sounding raunchier than intended). 'wow, that's pretty creamy', i think to myself, 'must be really moisturizing'. so i go to lather up. but something's wrong. where are all the suds? i grab the bottle. Supreme Body Mousse. i scan the blurb on the back. blah blah tropical scents, blah blah rich bath and shower froth, blah blah blah. what the hell? not a bubble in sight. i look again. "get a double dose and start with Supremely Rich Bath and Shower Froth". oh crap.

i drag my finger across my belly, but instead of that squeaky clean feel, my finger just slips along a slimy path. yup, i've just tried to soap up with a dollop of wet lotion. in my defense, what kind of descriptive term is body mousse?? how the hell am i supposed to know what that is? it's not a real thing! stupid fancy shmancy lotion parading as body wash and making me all slimy.

so anyway, i used common old bar soap. sure, it didn't smell like coconuts or a sun-drenched island paradise, but there was no confusion about what it was.

i must say though, my skin does feel very moisturized.