chemistry

such a strange and powerful thing. it's either there or it isn't. you
can't explain it. you can't force it. and you definitely can't control
it.

in high school, when our class wasn't paying attention or someone gave
a bit of rebellious teenage attitude, our chemistry teacher would tell
us "chemistry will punish you!". i always thought that was funny.

i think in general people understand the importance of having chemistry
with someone. you can list off all the great things about a person, all
the reasons why you should want them, but it does no good. something is
missing, and infinite items in the pro column can't outweigh that one
little fact on the con side.

i hate chemistry. i hate that i need it so much, i hate that i can't
choose where it happens, and i hate that i've let it have so much
control over me. i've accepted that it is something i am not able to do
without, but i also know it can't be the only thing. other than that i
have no idea what i'm doing.

chemistry will punish me alright. i have no doubt about it.