Saturday, February 22, 2014

soapsto- bloodstone carvings

i'm reeling. i don't even know where to begin. this beautifully calm and quiet town has shown me the evil hiding within. drugs, abuse, violence, death. i was a part of it and didn't even realize it.

one of the cleaning staff at the hotel is the girlfriend of the guy from whom i bought my soapstone carvings last time. a cute little polar bear and an innukshuk. so cool. she approached me and asked if he'd tried to sell me anything, because he had stolen some carvings from her uncle. and then she told me more.

he is a drug addict. he steals soapstone, carvings, materials, money. he doesn't want to work, just get quick money for more drugs. he is abusive. he wants her to keep her mouth shut so she asked me not to tell him we spoke. she showed me bruises on her arms. he has knocked her out, broken her eye socket, kicked her with steel toed boots until blood came out her ear, and ruptured one of her kidneys. she said she feels "slow, like a half person" since the injuries. she told me another girl committed suicide because of his emotional and physical abuse.

you aren't still with him, are you? she told me she tries to stay away, she hasn't seen him in a few days and she doesn't know where he is. but she wants to help him. she wants him to go to the counselling he is supposed to be attending (since he was released from jail and is still on probation). she is trying to keep an eye on him, and others also want him to get better. but he doesn't want to.

i don't understand it. the whole thing about the abused staying with the abuser. i don't get it at all. she knows he's bad. she knows he doesn't want to change. and yet she said that isn't really him. i tell her she should protect herself and stay away from him. she says yes and that her mother is helping her.

i hope she is okay. i hope she gets out.

i hate those fucking sculptures now.


Laoch of Chicago said...

Co-dependency is a real and horrifying problem, that resists most attempts to offer succor. The sad truth is that you can't fix other people.

Peaceful said...

when i was in my abusive relationship I felt my spirit dwindle to a small ember... the things I did to make him happy are a source of guilt & remorse.

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