ah, january in winnipeg... you think you're so tough? you think you shock me? you think i can't handle you?? tut tut, you do this every year. you're so predictable.
i was walking home the other day, and when i blinked, my eyelashes froze together. ooh, good one winter, you're so strong, i'll never be able to unstick my eyelashes. pffft, please. and you can't fool me, even though it's so cold it feels like i've forgotton to put on pants, i know they're there, overtop of my long johns. oh, oh noooo, don't throw that windchill factor at me! -45, exposed skin freezes in 3 minutes. blah blah blah, as if have any skin exposed. eyeballs aren't made of skin, so ha!
yesterday the washing machine overflowed. water and bubbles everywhere, cascading across the kitchen floor and into the hallway. of course, january's patented "freeze the pipes" move. so cliche. so we haul out the gear, pour hot water down the pipes, sop up the water that is quickly turning to icy slush on the cold tiles, aim space heaters at the wall... and wait, unphased.
old man winter.... such a grumpy old bastard. i can't wait for him to take his teeth out and go to bed for the season.