i posted this yesterday on facebook, but i think it's kinda funny, so i'm posting here too. yeah, that's right, i just arrogantly proclaimed myself to be funny. whatcha gonna do about it?
i should probably stop eating expired food. one of these days i'll pay the price.
opened the fridge to check out the dire food situation. wow, nothing.
but i'm starving and safeway is all the way across the street. surely i
can make do with the odds and ends before me.
two eggs: expired 10 days ago. totally close enough.
cheese: still good!
pepperoni: hmm, expiry date rubbed off, can't even remember when i bought it... but it seems fine.
canned olives: i don't think they ever go bad.
whip up a little omelet. could use some sort of condiment on the side. no ketchup, no salsa. what else could i try?
dollop of sour cream: expired 9 days ago. perfectly fine, no green fuzz.
blob of bbq sauce: expired a month ago. whatever, as if bbq sauce expires, i just plain old don't believe them.
seems like a somewhat odd combination of things, but it all tastes
good. i am reminded of an episode of friends when joey eats rachel's
meaty dessert trifle. if you like all the ingredients separately, why
not together? i think that's how my tastebuds work. after all, i used
to pour milk on my toast and maple syrup on my french fries.
so far no signs of impending vomit or dysentery. i think i have a pretty tough stomach. safe again, ergo no lesson learned!