Monday, October 29, 2007

counting down


Just four days left at my job. Weird. I kind of don't want to leave. Starting from scratch is worrisome. I should be excited about a fresh start. New people, new things to learn, new lifestyle. But I don't feel excited. I just feel uneasy about change. Yes, the girl who moved to NZ straight after high school, the girl who lived in China for a year, the girl who travelled around the world, trying all sorts of new experiences... that girl is nervous of a little job change.

Why?? I kept saying I needed to do something else in my life, i was feeling restless and wanted something different. Then this job pops up and suddenly I get all shy and attached to my itty bitty cubicle. Time for some self-analysis...

I'm really good at my job. People know it and value me there. Perhaps I won't be as valued at the new place, that's probable. I'm not worried about doing well, I know I'll do fine. I think the real fear is that this change won't change anything. I'll still feel restless and dissatisfied. And then what? I hate this feeling of
general malaise that I can't seem to shake lately. A new job may keep me distracted briefly, but it's probably just going to be a quick fix. But... better than running off to some foreign country, I suppose.

3 comments:

Laoch said...

The ability to embrace change is a valuable mind set.  The key to any successful career is to develop a skill set.  With your varied experience you are on the way to that.  Have you considered Graduate School?

Lisa said...

Fantastic description...the picture you paint to your readers is so clear and oddly familiar.Where are all the nice/honest/non confused men?

Lisa said...

Fantastic description...the picture you paint to your readers is so clear and oddly familiar.Where are all the nice/honest/non confused men?oops I put this comment on the wrong blog...it was meant for November 4

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