I want to write about something. But I can't. Sometimes I really wish this was anonymous. I don't want to share certain things with everyone. I don't want my friends to tsk me disapprovingly. I don't want my dad and step-family to look at me with concern. I don't want anyone I know... to know. But I have things that I want to say. There is something so cathartic about confiding in "strangers". I don't really feel like all my blog buddies are strangers anymore, but still.
But this just isn't an option. I have to keep it to myself. Pretend there's nothing going on. Insist I don't care, it doesn't matter, I'm not thinking about it. In time I hope it will wane, and then this won't be a lie.
But right now I care. It matters. And I can't stop thinking about it.
2 comments:
... you could always try creating another blog under another newly created anonymous hotmail addy ... sometimes that alone can help because no one will know it\'s you as long as you don\'t let it be known.
Take care of yourself ... for only you truly know what it is you need. ♥
I think that you will find, that whatever you are going through will not seem that strange or awful to other people. The idea that everyone else is integrated and sane and never errs is just an illusion. I hope that you will find a way to express yourself that you will find cathartic..I have to add though that in my experience things can really be repressed. They find a way to come out. It is often best to try and accept the thing about yourself that is troubling you and say to yourself "this is a part of me, I must learn to come to terms with it and what other people think or want is never going to bbe as important as what I think or want."
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