I want to write about something. But I can't. Sometimes I really wish this was anonymous. I don't want to share certain things with everyone. I don't want my friends to tsk me disapprovingly. I don't want my dad and step-family to look at me with concern. I don't want anyone I know... to know. But I have things that I want to say. There is something so cathartic about confiding in "strangers". I don't really feel like all my blog buddies are strangers anymore, but still.
But this just isn't an option. I have to keep it to myself. Pretend there's nothing going on. Insist I don't care, it doesn't matter, I'm not thinking about it. In time I hope it will wane, and then this won't be a lie.
But right now I care. It matters. And I can't stop thinking about it.