the flu

vomirreah. that's the awful new word i've coined.

i'm sick. not as sick as yesterday, and a thousand times better than the day before, but sick nonetheless. monday at around 330, i started to feel nauseous. i thought i was just getting nervous about the oral french exam i had to take for work the next day. but after throwing up 4 times, i decided even my own delicate nerves wouldn't cause that big of a reaction. my mom picked me up from work to drive me home because i didn't think i could handle the 30 minute bus ride. as it turns out, i couldn't handle the 15 minute car ride either. we had to pull over half way so that i could throw up out the side of the car. how gross.

upon getting home i threw up several more times, then curled up under three blankets with a bucket beside my bed. the next 4 hours were pretty terrible, and i will spare you the gruesome details. i didn't leave my room until the next morning, when i somehow managed to get up and go to work to take the french test. maybe that was a bad idea as i definitely wasn't at my best, but i jst wanted to get it over with. as soon as it was done i left work and went to my mom's where i feel asleep for several hours.

things have improved. i'm no longer vomiting or any of that other gross stuff. but that's just because i haven't really been able to eat anything. a couple of bowls of chicken broth and some toast. i've dropped 8 pounds in the last two days, just because my body has purged itself of all contents! today i'm just lazing about the house with a terrible headache. i have to walk super slowly because each step causes pounding and my vision blackens.

i hope i feel like myself again soon. this sucks.

snow and stupid

ugh. today is not exactly off to an auspicious start. for one, it's snowing. AGAIN. it's april 21st, and it's snowing. come one! am i ever going to get a chance to enjoy my new backyard? afternoon drinks on our sunny deck, evenings sitting around the firepit... sigh... not to be realized anytime soon.

this morning i got up around 830, shuffled downstairs in my housecoat and slippers, and put on a pot of coffee. i plunked myself down at the table to go through the newspaper and do the crossword. my usual routine. as i was drowsily flipping pages, i heard i tinkling noise. huh. i wonder what that is, i thought, continuing to flip. tinkle tinkle drip drip. is the tap on? finally i come out of my sleepy fog enough to consider that something may not be right in the kitchen. sure enough, the coffee maker is pouring coffee straight down onto the element, cascading over the counter and onto the floor. the pot sits empty off to the side. and oh, fantastic, the drawer beneath was slightly ajar so a cups worth of coffee has also poured in all over the cutlery. oy.

yup, today definitely has the makings of a day when i should just laze on the couch, avoid the miserable weather, and not undertake any complicated tasks (like coffee-making!). but i'm off to a birthday brunch at my dad's. gotta go brush the car off. grumble grumble.

Faceless

yup, it's been just over a month since i abandoned facebook. i gave no warning, no countdown to deactivation day, no hoping people would try to convince me to stay. i just left. i'm sure a lot of people haven't even noticed. i'd been thinking about doing it for a while, and finally got around to clicking the button. i haven't gone totally crazy doing the full-on shut down, just the deactivation so that i can go back any time if i so choose. but so far i haven't gone back, and i haven't really been tempted.

my dad asked me why i left, so this is all i have to offer for an answer:

i wasn't doing anything interesting on facebook. i rarely posted my own stuff anymore, and hardly ever left comments on others' pages. but on a daily basis i would scroll through the newsfeed and scan people's updates. the majority of which didn't really matter to me that much. oh, so-and-so is watching the jets game, whatsherface ate the most delicious tacos, someoneorother thinks i should watch a funny youtube vid, it's so LOL. blah blah. i'm not saying i had anything better to write, my status updates were completely mundane. but i was hooked on checking the newsfeed. not even out of interest, just out of boredom. 10 minutes with nothing to do on the bus? i'll look at facebook. commercial break? i'll open facebook.

but worse than that, my use of facebook made me feel like i was maintaining friendships and being a part of peoples' lives, even though i totally wasn't. why don't my friends' kids recognize me? i've been around since they were born and i've seen them grow up! oh, no i haven't, i've just seen photos of them growing up. i want to talk to people again! i want to catch up over a coffee or a beer, not peek in on lives through one-line updates. if you want me to come to a social or a party, tell me about it! i'm so much more likely to go than knowing you just clicked "invite all".

my niece took her first steps not long ago. it was posted on facebook, but the first time i saw her walk wasn't on an iphone video, it was in front of my very eyes. of course i watched the video later :)

now i will have to make more of an effort to stay in touch with the people that matter, and hopefully they will do the same for me. i think there's a very good chance i'll go back to facebook down the road, but for now i want to reconnect with my friends. and to do that i had to unfriend them all.