wrapping it up

 

 

ok, i'm almost ready for the "upgrade" to the new blog. I just imported all my entries, copied all my photos and all my lists... just to make sure nothing gets lost in cyberspace. I considered just shutting Whoopdeedoo down completely, seeing as i never seem to write anything anymore. but i decided against that. maybe the new format will inspire me to start writing again. it's just that i always feel so boring these days. reading back over my old adventures makes me sad. i feel very disconnected from that fun, witty traveler who wrote all those years ago. sigh.... :(

 

so i'm not traipsing around the world these days, that doesn't mean i can't still find something to say! i just can't find something to say right NOW. but later, when the transformation is complete... muahahahahahahaha!!!! ok, next time you (if there is anybody to be the "you") read this, it will be the new and improved wordpress blog. feel free to wait with bated breath.

Ack, change!

 

What the hell?? I don't visit my space for 5 measly months and suddenly i'm confronted with all these changes! First of all i have to upgrade so that i don't lose everything. Good thing that's far in the future, i would have been devasted if my space was gone. Although I guess they said it doesn't vanish, it just gets frozen. And what happened to my menacing finger-pointing photo? I've been replaced by a space shuttle! Ok ok, i suppose this teaches me not to leave my space unattended for so long. I'm sorry! I've learned my lesson! (yeah right).

 

Small, inconsequential changes in my life. I'm learning a slightly new job. Same title, same salary, i'll even be doing it from the same desk. But now instead of answering questions about employment insurance, i'll be answering questions about canada pension. Wow, how exciting. But the change is good. It'll mix things up a bit. So right now i'm in training. I've gone from a know-it-all to a know-it-not-at-all. So things are kind of interesting again. Yeesh, i never thought i'd be describing learning about pensions as interesting :(

 

Anyway, lunchtime is over. I'm going to update my space to the new and improved whateveritis and make an effort to write more often. I have to stir up those creative juices - they've grown stagnant!

buttons on ice cream

 

for auntie beryl

who always read my blog, even when it was boring.

 

i just came back from dinner with my family and had lots of fun playing with my little neice. i can't believe she's almost a year old! seems like just the other day she was coming home, swaddled tight in her blanket, an adorable 5 pound 10 ounce burrito. i'm pretty new at being an aunt, but luckily i had a great role model. from what i can tell, being an aunt means that i'll love little naomi and she'll love me; i'll help take care of her and watch her as she grows up; i'll spend time with her and give her treats she doesn't get from mom and dad, and she'll tell me things she won't tell them. we'll have that magical combination of familial love and easygoing friendship. i get to be that grown up that's cool because... well... because i'm not the parent!

 

i used to go for sleepovers at auntie beryl's when i was a kid. my cousin is just a bit older than me, so we would hang out sometimes, and sleepovers meant that we could stay up later and play board games or calecovision. and there was always something exciting about sleeping away from home, in a bed that wasn't mine. i guess it made me feel like a big kid, even though i brought my stuffed animals to hug at night. i had a terrible nightmare once and woke up sobbing. good thing auntie beryl came in to calm me down and make it better.

 

later on, when the 14 month age gap made my cousin too cool for me, i still went to visit, i just spent the time hanging out with auntie beryl instead. she was so easy and fun to talk with. and she let me have vanilla ice cream with kahlua, how cool!

 

once, having caught my brother de-wedgying himself, she asked if he was going to a show. "what?" he asked, not understanding. "no...." then the punchline: "cause you're picking your seat!" hahaha, david and i still giggle over that one. although my favourite auntie beryl line is still the one i first heard about 25 years ago (yikes, that long??): "So...." i drawl, not going anywhere in particular. "buttons on ice cream," she finishes. i give a confused look. "sew buttons on ice cream and watch them melt off". ha! i like that one. way cooler than "hey is for horses". to this day, i have been heard to interject the buttons-on-ice-cream line on occasion.

 

in the winter time, as christmas starts to close in and decorations go up, i always think of auntie beryl. we used to drive around the neighborhoods looking at all the beautiful lights. some streets really went all out; it's like the neighbors were in cahoots. they had a reputation to uphold! they couldn't disappoint their fans, as we drove along slowly, oohing and aahing at the colours twinkling on the eaves and in the trees. yes, the place to be on christmas was definitely auntie beryl's house. the piles and piles of delicious food! meatballs, creamed peas, stuffing, ham... ooh, ham!! auntie beryl could always count on her little jewish neice amanda gobbling up a plateful of that amazing ham. yep, once a year; oh, how i looked forward to it! and even with all the kids, grandkids and us moochy nieces and nephew coming by, i always felt welcome and wanted.

 

you may think that auntie beryl is gone, but she isn't. she is still hanging on, fighting. she is a tough cookie! and although this is just a snapshot, i didn't want to wait to write about what a fantastic person she is and express how much i love her and how she has touched my life. i hope i can be just as wonderful an aunt to naomi as she has been to me.

no title

 

hello strangers.

 

what's happened to me? when did i become so boring? i work my monday to friday, 8-4 job. i come home and tell my boyfriend about my uneventful day. i have dinner with the girls once a month and we talk about work, their babies and other grownup things. i routinely go to pub quiz where we routinely lose. i do crosswords, i watch tv, i indulge in a few beers, i complain that i've put on a few pounds. i grumble about the constantly empty coffee pot in the employee kitchen. i look forward to weekends. i work overtime to rack up additional vacation days. then i check my vacation leave balance, rubbing my hands together greedily at the sight of all my hoarded holidays. they just sit there, accumulating nicely but going nowhere. i like to think of planning a trip, but then it never seems like i have enough time. one week? i can't go anywhere good in just a week. two? three? it's never enough time for my daydreamed travels.

 

the other day i got a nice new haircut and colour. the greys were gone, my hair shone and bounced with health and youth! i went shopping and bought some new jeans and a gorgeous blue coat that i adore. oh how vibrant and stylish i felt! while getting changed, i stared at myself in the mirror. hips and thighs were no longer held svelte by the form flattering denim; blue sophistication now hung from the coat hook. this body in front of me... it wasn't mine. the inward curve at the waist was less pronounced, the belly not as hard, everything looked a bit softer and squishier than it should be. this was the body of a 30-something, not me.

 

oh wait. i AM a 30-something. that is indeed my reflection staring out at me with disappointment.

 

 

 

i started writing this several weeks ago. it's just taken me a while to publish it. so i'm 33; it happens. i have a steady job, i live with my boyfriend and i hang out with my friends. that isn't so bad! i've got a week of holidays coming up this summer, and although i'm not going anywhere exotic, i'm very much looking forward to relaxing, camping and just enjoying the time off. in terms of perking up my sad doppelganger in the mirror, i ride my bike and i've rejoined kickboxing to get into better shape. i'm not succumbing to monotony or stagnancy yet!!

Repo Manda

the other day while watching some junky tv, i saw a commercial for a show called Repo Man, or something to that effect. the ad itself was unmemorable and left me with no desire to waste any time watching it. but with a flash, it resurrected long forgotten memories of my days as a repo girl.

1995: innocent 18 year old amanda arrives in new zealand ready for adventure, armed with not much more than a backpack and work permit. i met some girls in the hostel and we decided to rent a room in a house together while looking for jobs. i scoured the classifieds and pounded the pavement, walkiing into every little restaurant and bar i passed. but i was fresh out of high school with no experience other than taco bell. i did of course embellish my work history with entirely ficticious jobs, knowing my references would never be checked. i got a few shifts in the kitchen at a late night cafe, until they told me i didn't make the nachos fast enough. i got a shift at a pub, until they found out i was underage. i got half a shift at some hoity toity restaurant but was quickly tossed out when i dropped a plate. and a smattering of other inconsistent odd jobs.

so when my landlord offered me $30 to go with him on a repo run, i jumped at it. all i had to do was tolerate the creep for a one way ride and then drive his car back so he could take the repossessed vehicle. it was easy money. i never saw too much of the actual repossessing as i usually parked several cars back so as not to be detected. sometimes it went off without a hitch, a few times there was yelling and cursing and doors slamming. once something was thrown at him and he went nuts kicking at their door. little me just stayed motionless with the car doors locked. the rides out were no better. between his sleazy sexual innuendo and his enraged expletive filled rants (about anything and everything), i was beginning to think it might not be worth the $30 a pop.

luckily i didn't have to do it for too long. eventually i got a job at a nearby hotel and was more than happy to take the 6am shifts if it meant not needing to work for my cuckoo landlord anymore. i ignored his filthy and inappropriate comments on the few occasions we crossed paths, and tried to shut out the screaming matches and threats of violence between him and his equally wacko girfriend. it was a terribly unpleasant place to live, but super cheap and just blocks from my work!

of course, it improved greatly after we killed him.

but that's a story for another day.

 

 

beez in the hood

the wasps... the wasps have taken over the bathroom.

 

i open the door a crack and cautiously peek in. my heart is pounding as my eyes scan the room, first glance revealing nothing. the window seems clear, and there's nothing crawling on the mirror. slowly i inch closer to the sink and turn my gaze upward to check under the light. the wasps often get up there, but you can't see them unless you get close. clear; no wasps. but the window... the venetian blinds cover the upper half, i don't know if anything is behind them or not. i look up to the ceiling fan: their point of entry. no movement. i edge imperceptibly towards the window, silent, breath held, heart pounding. i'm one step into the bathroom, which is one step too far away from the safety of the door. closer... eyes darting back to the ceiling fan, remembering the terror of the other night when i witnessed two wasps drop from it into the room. slowly, i begin to crouch down in order to peer behind the blinds. please... please let it be clear. oh god, there's two of them, dopily crawling around near the top of the window. i back out of the washroom, shutting the door behind me.

 

ok, not too bad. they were looking pretty docile, probably almost dead anyway. how to finish them off so i can use the bathroom without fear? we don't have any wasp spray or bug killer of any kind in the house, and i'm not brave enough to try and smoosh them with a paper towel. that crunch... BLECK! so once more into battle, armed with a bottle of windex and a boxed up photo album for squishing. again, i slowly open the door and check around to ascertain the enemy's location. one of them is too high on the window, but the other one is within spraying distance. so i quietly raise my weapon, aim, and blast it with windex. it wriggles and struggles and falls to the sill. windex windex windex! suddenly, BZZZZ!!! a huge wasp drops down from the fan, flies past me and starts bumping against the mirror.

 

of course i screamed and ran out, slamming the door behind me. the bathroom is under seige. i'm paranoid now too. i keep seeing things fly by out of the corner of my eye. or feel something crawling on me. or shh - did you hear that buzzing?? i sit here at the computer, windex bottle at my side, box abandonned on the other side of the door, heart still racing.

 

and i really need to use the bathroom!

new job

 

hey, i have something to write about!

 

i got a new job, yahoo!!! it's not permanent, it's just an acting assignment until the end of November, but still, it's a few steps up from my old position. i'm now a quality assurance advisor and i'm on the tech line to help staff with their questions. i'm not sure how many people applied for the position, but i'm pretty sure there were about 10 of us doing the testing. not too sure why i was chosen, but i was completely surprised and very happy! i feel so proud. it totally makes me feel like i've accomplished something. i'm good at my job!

 

although at the moment i still sort of feel like i'm a kid playing at being an adult. dressing in mommy's shoes and hats and pretending that i'm so very big and grown up!

breathe blog, breathe!

 

oh blog, how i neglect thee!

 

it's because i'm boring you know. i never have anything clever or witty or remotely interesting to say. i used to be a barrel of laughs, what happened!? i think it's just a lack of time available for indulging and cultivating my imagination. i have a 15 minute break in which i grab a coffee, spend 10 minutes on the phone arranging a car inspection so i can end my lease, and then no time for amusing bloggery. i'm already 2 minutes over my break time, such insolence!

 

i wanted to try and pump some life into you, blog... but no time! just a quick jolt with the paddles to get your heart beating and off i go again. i will drop by soon and try to rescue you from the ICU

in a rut

 

today i hate work. so repetitive. same same same, every day. i'm annoyed at the fact that people who have been here way less time than me and who definitely aren't any better than me, get to do more than me. there's no point in calling the help line because i know just as much as the person who answers. i've mentioned that i'm interested in doing more - being on the tech line, shadowing new staff etc - but oh no, nothing comes of it. i'm frustrated. this phone cord may as well be an iron chain shackling me to this desk.

things to come

 

3 minutes left of my afternoon break so not much time.

 

i've been neglecting my blog lately, not really sure why. peru was awesome, wish i'd written more. i didn't even keep up to date in my journal; i'll regret that later.

 

job interview tomorrow. i'm nervous. still need to prepare some of my answers... cross your fingers for me.

 

blair is moving in with me july 1st. big step, hope all goes well. sometimes i worry about making big changes like that. i mean, everything is good, maybe we shouldn't mess with it. but too late now. and i suppose it's the natural progression of things. cross more fingers for me.

 

break is over.