I'm jammin'

i'm jammin' i'm jamming i'm jamming i'm jamming, i wanna jam it wit you. i'm jammin' i'm jamming i'm jamming i'm jamming, i hope you like jammin' too.

but if you've got any sense, you will not like jammin'. sorry, that's just plain old jamming, with the "g". i spent a whole afternoon jamming. as in, making jam. you see, we have all these lovely concord grapes growing on our garage, and every day i looked at them admiringly, smitten with those deep purple spheres that seemed almost fake in their perfection. it seemed a shame to just let them all freeze or rot as winter approached. i should do something with them, i thought to myself. i should be all martha stewarty and make homemade grape jam! yes, what a fabulous idea.

i googled how to make it, and it seemed pretty straightforward. all of the various sites i looked at mentioned that it takes a bit of patience to peel the grapes, but they all kind of breezed by that point. i guess if they didn't, no one in their right mind would make the jam. so let me be clear: peeling the grapes takes a very, very long time. it's easy but mind-numbingly tedious. your fingers will wrinkle and stain. your eyeballs will glaze over. your bowl of peeled grapes will very slowly start to fill.... but the bucket of unpeeled grapes still to go will never seem to dwindle. you will hate the grapes. you will hate martha stewart. you will hate the websites for not warning you that jam making is for crazies.

anyhoo, without further ado, here is the play by play of my jam making adventure.

requirements for jam:
3 lbs concord grapes
3 cups sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
immeasurable amounts of patience
glass(es) of wine or other booze to keep you from going bonkers

step 1: ah... beautiful grapes on the vine spark jam-making inspiration

 

 

step 2: collect big pile of gorgeous grapes. continue to admire them and marvel at your wonderful idea.

 

 

step 3: pluck grapes from the stems. they look like a bucket of blueberries. start to nervously realize that this is a lot of grapes

 

 

step 4: squeeze the end of the grape, allowing the inside to plop right out of its skin.

 

 

step 5: peel. peel. peel peelpeelpeelpeel approximately 1200 grapes for approximately 2 hours. stare at pile of grapes. detest grapes. kick yourself over stupid jam-making idea.

 

 

step 6: put all the skins in a food processer and puree with 1 cup of sugar until smooth.

 

step 7: regroup. admire that incredible colour. go have a glass of wine or something.

 

step 8: back to work. put the grapes, purple skin puree, the rest of the sugar, and the lemon juice into a pot.

 

 

step 9: bring to a boil. then turn down heat and let simmer to thicken. stir occasionally.

 

 

step 10: more tedium as you strain out the seeds, mashing the mixture patiently to get out all the sticky purple goodness.

 

 

step 11: i didn't think it was thick enough so i put it back on the stove for a bit. oooh, looks so perdy. my love of the grapes is renewed.

 

 

 

step 12: pour into jars. woohoo, we're done!!!

 

 

step 13: enjoy the unbelievably delicious results. YUM!! 

 

 

 

i was actually crazy enough to do this whole thing twice. the second time around i set up my peeling station so i could sit at a table within view of the tv. much better than standing at the kitchen counter, staring out the window, the occasional squirrel running along the fence my only entertainment.

 

and i have to say, the jam is amazing. thick, rich, and sweet. my mom, brother, and sister have all raved about it. and clearly, if i put myself through this a second time, it goes to show that i think the product is worth the effort :)



my first staycation

Ah, holidays.

I'm enjoying a different kind of holiday this week. a holiday where I have absolutely no plans and nothing specific to do. normally when I take time off work, I try to do something with that time. take a trip somewhere, or even just go to the farm. but not this time. I had booked this time off way back in april, and I thought something might pop up between then and now. maybe a cheap last minute flight, a spontaneous trip somewhere. but nothing. I contemplated canceling my holiday request, but decided to give this whole "staycation" thing a whirl.

So far, I have to say it's pretty great. the weather has been gorgeous: sunny and 30 something degrees. We had our families over for a bbq and everything went super well. it was hot, there was lots of delicious food, and everyone was chatting and having fun. Canada day was another scorcher, and I had a beautiful day riding my bike, hanging outside with family, checking out the various festivities, watching fireworks, and collapsing exhausted at the end of the day. today I discovered the fun of a pressure washer! I decided it would be fun to have a project this week, but nothing too overwhelming or urgent. something that if I don't finish it, it's no big deal. so I decided to paint our fence. or stain it, varnish it, treat it, whatever it is you're supposed to do to fences. how exciting! handyman Amanda, that's what they'll call me! the pressure washer is so cool. i'd never used one before and I was just mesmerized watching the layer of dirt that I didn't even know was dirt come off, leaving a brand new fence behind! well, after an hour of spraying, I was soaking wet and covered in fence scum. But I had 2 and half beautifully clean and new looking sections of fence! ....which leaves about 15 more sections to go. this is where the whole 'no big deal if I can't finish this project' mentality comes in.

I will do more on the fence throughout the week. maybe i'll get the whole thing cleaned, maybe not. for now, at least the novelty of the pressure washer makes it fun, and it doesn't feel like work.

other than that, nothing else planned. other than have coffee outside while doing the crosswords. visit my sister. lay in the sun. make sangria. drink sangria. relax. that's it. nothing else on the agenda! yay!! so what if i'm not off to some exotic destination this holiday. my backyard is exactly where i want to be :)

Oh goodie, another phobia

maybe phobia isn't quite the right word. i mean, i'm not afraid of them, like i am of moths. but i think that's only because these are stationary. i definitely have an irrational and hyperbolic disgust of them, which leads to extremely ludicrous overreactions.

I've discovered that i am revolted by toadstools.

seriously, i don't know how i'm going to get through this blog, because just the thought of them - the mere writing of the word - sends shudders down my spine. we have some growing around a tree on the boulevard (oh god oh god, they're so gross), and now they've even spread so that a few are in our yard (barf barf barf). the clumps around the base of the tree are really big, like the size of cats and loaves of bread (blech, gag), then about half a dozen smaller clusters have popped up along the boulevard and a blob or two on our lawn (i have to stop, i'm going to be sick).


i'm back. feeling queasy, but i shall persevere.

i can't think of anything more nauseating than those mushrooms. repulsive fungal growths infesting our grass. they make my skin crawl. i almost couldn't walk up my front sidewalk because they were only a few feet away. oh so gross so gross so gross! squishy, lumpy, dense, moist, pop-up-overnight, cankerous blight infecting my lawn!!



blair digging out the vile toadstools. I took a photo of him
 while peeking through the blinds in the upstairs window.
this is as close as i could get, and even then i was trembling

ok, i must stop. retching and having mini-convulsions at the thought of them. i made blair go outside and dig them all up to get rid of them. but he's not allowed to talk about it because i start freaking out when they are mentioned and may break into tears. now i must go have a hot shower and scrub the thoughts of them away.

the flu

vomirreah. that's the awful new word i've coined.

i'm sick. not as sick as yesterday, and a thousand times better than the day before, but sick nonetheless. monday at around 330, i started to feel nauseous. i thought i was just getting nervous about the oral french exam i had to take for work the next day. but after throwing up 4 times, i decided even my own delicate nerves wouldn't cause that big of a reaction. my mom picked me up from work to drive me home because i didn't think i could handle the 30 minute bus ride. as it turns out, i couldn't handle the 15 minute car ride either. we had to pull over half way so that i could throw up out the side of the car. how gross.

upon getting home i threw up several more times, then curled up under three blankets with a bucket beside my bed. the next 4 hours were pretty terrible, and i will spare you the gruesome details. i didn't leave my room until the next morning, when i somehow managed to get up and go to work to take the french test. maybe that was a bad idea as i definitely wasn't at my best, but i jst wanted to get it over with. as soon as it was done i left work and went to my mom's where i feel asleep for several hours.

things have improved. i'm no longer vomiting or any of that other gross stuff. but that's just because i haven't really been able to eat anything. a couple of bowls of chicken broth and some toast. i've dropped 8 pounds in the last two days, just because my body has purged itself of all contents! today i'm just lazing about the house with a terrible headache. i have to walk super slowly because each step causes pounding and my vision blackens.

i hope i feel like myself again soon. this sucks.

CSI: manders' house

So our house was broken into today. The last cop just left and I'm tired.


I could tell from the street that there'd been a break in. Sixth sense? Keen intuition? Fine attention to detail? Yes, all of those. Oh, and the fact that the storm window had been removed and was now sitting next to a gaping hole in the side of the house, with only a few shards clinging to the pane where a 3' x 5' window once was.

Inside, the living room was strewn with broken glass. Nice day out, I thought, as a pleasant breeze came through the hole in the wall. I looked around and didn't see anything major missing. Our two bikes, just a few feet away, were still there. The xbox, right next to the window, also still in its place. Heavy and awkward old tube tv that no one would or could steal, yup, still there looking heavy and awkward on it's tv stand. I ran upstairs and the computer was still there, along with another heavy/awkward/old tube tv. I guess it was just vandalism. I called the cops and made a report. That was that.

I did some sleuthing about and quickly pieced together the events of the crime. An old broom that was outside was laying on the porch, the handle damaged. A large planter had been moved. I noticed scratches around the butterfly nut thingies that held the storm window. Inside, there was some sand and dirt. Clearly they used the broom handle to bash the nuts into the open position and take off the outer window. They weren't expecting such a thick plate glass on the other side, and had to smash it open with the hefty planter, getting sand inside when it broke through. Then... they must've been scared off or interrupted and ran off without coming in. Case closed!

Until I noticed a green recyclable bag sitting near the front door. Inside i saw a pile of video games, our point and shoot camera and an ipod. Huh. Neither Blair nor I put that bag there... case re-opened!

I looked around again. Going to where the green bag came from, i discovered that a bottle of rum was missing. Upstairs, my old broken Nokia flip phone (don't ask me why i hadn't just tossed it out) was gone from my bedside table. Blair told me my closet had been completely ransacked... but I had to admit that that was just my mess. Strangest of all was in the computer room, where an unknown shoe now sat atop a bookshelf. I called the cops back and they arranged to have someone come.

A very nice constable came out and dusted for fingerprints, getting one good print off of a video game. Blair and I got fingerprinted to, in order to make sure it wasn't ours, how fun!

We're still trying to figure out what all was taken, but it seems like it could have been way worse. Blair had a couple of watches stolen, as a fair chunk of change from his toonie bin. I found my broken useless phone in the bag of loot that our incompetent robber forgot at the front when he exited the back. Also a few cans of beer had been moved to the back porch but also got left behind. I have no idea where the shoe came from or why it was left on the top of our bookshelf. The constable bagged it and took it away (just to throw it out, but i like to imagine it's going to the lab to get analyzed).

We now have a very ghetto plywood window. But I suppose I should look at the bright side. At least it's not January, brrr!

P.S. I threw out our toothbrushes... I know those stories are just urban legends, but you just can't be too careful!

procrastination paid off

finally, something good came of my hesitation and indecision!

a couple of months ago, our washing machine broke down. it had left oily black smears on our sheets during a couple of loads. when i looked inside the machine, i could see oily streaks had dripped out of some of the holes in the drum. we described the predicament to several people and got the same response: sounds like the transmission; you'll need a new machine.

that was a bummer, but not the end of the world. just go buy a new washer, easy peasy. until we measured our old machine and found that they no longer made washing machines in those dimensions. which also wouldn't be much of a problem in most cases. unfortunately for us, the laundry room had basically been built around those machines, and there wasn't a hair's width of space to spare! so then we began talking about knocking down a wall, except that would also involve trying to rearrange the piping. or we could find a top loading machine that could fit sideways into that spot. it would be awkward to do laundry, but doable.

we looked several times at washers. we even came very close to buying one, except i decided to be stubborn (blah blah, i wanted to wheel and deal but the salesman wouldn't knock off the $50 delivery charge, so i tried the walk away bluff... but just ended up walking away). the whole ordeal gave me a headache and i didn't want to deal with it. so we kept putting it off. we did laundry at the parents', and at my sister's, and at the laundromat. we kept saying "next weekend, we really have to buy a washer".

but then in telling my washer woes to the laundromat owner, he gave me hope. said it didn't sound like the transmission if there was no oil leaking beneath the washer. ANYHOO, we popped the front off the machine and didn't see anything suspicious. we did a test load with grungy towels we don't use. no oil. test run number two on the dish towels: also fine. ramp up the testing to underwear, socks, and gym clothes. CLEAN! so finally tonight i did real clothes. everything looks a-okay!!

We just saved ourselves several hundred bucks and a whole lot of hassle! so of course the moral of the story is: always put off til another day, because it may never have to get done at all.

such a valuable lesson.